Nikki-Slipped into an Xmas depression, better now.

Gah! Christmas and being emotional and alone got the best of me.  I’m not going to lie I’ve been very negative and unmotivated this past week and here’s why:

I had to plan my Christmas back in Oct/Nov. I asked Ryan to find out if he was actually working Christmas as he was schedule and I only had to do the sleep over on Christmas day (not a big deal).  He said he had to work so I picked up shifts at my relief job and my full-time job to help everyone one.  Thinking if Ryan is making double time I may as well go make extra money and I’d rather be around kids who might need a cheerful staff then be at home alone.  Well 5 days before Christmas his work decides to close their shop.  Now I know everyone is thinking Xmas is just another day, you can celebrate any day.  Which we do with Ryan and my own family. but there’s just something special about that day.  The 25th of December.  THAT is Christmas.  So to find out that I now had to spend the entire weekend at work (I planned to not even be home because it’s a 45 min drive from our house to my jobs) and not spend any of it with Ryan or his family was pretty devastating to me.   I only wanted to help out at work because Ryan was NOT going to be home. Christmas is my favourite time of year and is meant to be spent with friend and family.  So I am in the middle of a 74 hours spent at work and have been the cheerful staff the kids need but as it turns out all the kids are pretty much spending xmas with family or friends so it’s me sitting in an empty house wishing it was Tuesday.  

So yes Christmas has gotten the better of me.  I’ve been depressed and can’t get up in the morning to work out.  I’ve been making very poor choices when it comes to every meal and I feel like complete shit.  I feel like I’ve gained weight, lost muscle, I haven’t been sleeping well and I just feel gross… so Thank god this season is almost over as I will get back to my regular routine on Tuesday when i finally am off of work (I worked 84 hours Thurs-Monday).  I was very upset last night but am feeling better about  everything today.  Can’t wait for Tuesday when I have a week off to get my work outs back on track .

ALSO I would like to give a HUGE shout out to my girl Tara who after receiving bad news generously donated 11 sessions of personal training at Spa Lady with my trainer Danielle to me.  I owe you and I promise I will lose at least another inch from my neck just for you 🙂 Danielle is going to kick my ass in January in your honour!

I will weigh in this coming friday and tell you the damage that Christmas has done-eeek.