Nikki-Changing the way I think

There are times were I actually believe I am close to unstoppable.  I’ve worked so hard to get where I am.  I’m strong, I’m fit, I’m healthier than I was, I look amazing-Nothing can bring me down… And then there are days were I look in the mirror and still see and act like, the chubby unfit and very unhappy person I was.   I hate those days.  I’ve been having a few of them in the last few months but I’m working on changing that, but it’s hard to change the way you think especially about yourself.

I have always, for as long as I can remember, been self-conscious.  I’ve always had body imagine issue, I’ve always thought I was pretty but if I could just be thinner I would be gorgeous and HAPPY.  The key thought I always had: if I could be smaller, skinny, get rid of my thunder thighs anything that will make me smaller that will = HAPPINESS.  When in reality that’s now how it works.  When I was weighing in at 140 (a few years ago) I still thought I was fat and when I’ve looked back at those pictures, I think how crazy I must be for thinking that.  The sill thing is, I know when I get down to 140lbs again, I’ll still do the same thing!  Thin girls have just as many body hang ups as any other girl out there.  They still think they’re to fat, have giggly bits, or sometimes they think they are to small and can’t manage to put weight on.   It just seems no matter what you can’t win, but you can if you work at changing the way you think about yourself and that is what I am finally going to put some time in and do.

Here’s how I’m going to start:

Confronting the Mirror: Changing the way I think about parts of my body 

 I have been called Thunder thighs by many obnoxious people trying to hurt my feelings, and it use to hurt me.  Now I tell myself that these thighs of mine are ridiculously strong.  I could kill a man with this bad-girls.  They are muscle that help me run all the km I have been putting in.  How could you hate thighs that do that?  I am going to look at myself in the mirror and check out the parts of my body that I do like, and put a more positive spin on the ones I don’t love as much.  

Positive self talk

 I use it all the time when I’m working out.  Jill and I talk about it to and remind each other to use it (especially during hill training) When I’m feeling like I’m going to give up or just need a pick me up.  Here is what I tell myself:

I’m strong, I’m healthy, I’m fit, I’m unstoppable, I’m beautiful.  Sometimes when I’m really struggling I need to remind myself that: “I’ve got this”, “I’m almost there”, “Go HARD and then GO HOME” (lol changed that one up to remind myself I’m almost done) and of course “All the strength you need is within”

 Again there are days when I don’t need to do these things since I am beyond amazing (in my head) but it’s for the days I’ve been having where I can’t seem to make anything positive.  Anyone have tips or activites on how to boost self-esteem/image? I’d love to hear what you all do.

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3 thoughts on “Nikki-Changing the way I think

  1. I really loved this post! I think we all do this and it’s not just with our body image, it is with everything we do. This is the power of the ego to make us feel like insecure, worthless babies whenever we let it. My personal struggle is usually about not having a significant other in my life. I catch myself worrying that I will always be single and I will never find Mr. Right. One of the biggest helps I have found are “The Power of Intention” -Wayne Dyer and “You Can Heal Your Life” by Louise Hay. Really anything by these two helps me to change my attitude. Whether I am getting down on myself because I am lonely, because I feel uncomfortable in my body or work stress is getting to me; this is the uplift I need. Thanks for sharing your inner most vulnerabilities. I know it’s tough but taking the taboo out of being imperfect allows all of us love one another a little bit more. I really appreciate you leading by example in this regard.

    • Thanks Jillian, and thanks for sharing your own examples. I totally agree that we all do this to ourselves from time to time over what ever it is that is causing a stressor in our life. Thanks for sharing a resource that you use as well, I’ll have to check them out!

  2. I love how honest you have always been about your journey and the less-then-perfect struggling bits as well. Cheers Nikki!

    Also – I miss our matching strength necklaces because not only was the strength within, it was around our necks as well. Aw, bless.

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